Let us be straight, it was not always that way, I have been known to lose my rag in public and still do to a certain extent, but this is purely in a sarcastic manner at the great unwashed who insist on grinding my gears!
It would appear I am back seat road rager when we are pootling around in our work van. Thankfully I am at least aware that my window is open and mutter my grumbles under my breath so that my company is not damaged in any way.
----
So my first grumble of the night concerns my old adversary ... the Marketing people of the world! I was left home alone as Deb and Steve were out working and had been left a Morrisons own lasagne. The picture above does not show the meal obviously, but it does prove my point.
What you cannot see in this picture is the phrase "Serving Suggestion". Not wanting to be funny, but who the hell did they pay for this photo and 'serving suggestion'? It's a bloody lasagne on a bloody plate. There isn't even a sprig of parsley on top, no garlic bread, no chips - no nothing. Come on people - you are paid far too much money for this. AND .... AND, have you ever successfully got a lasagne out of one of those plastic trays and it actually look like the photo? For crying out loud Roger, it's ridiculous! Maybe that's the suggestion ... "get the lasagne out and look like this, you pleb" should maybe replacing "Serving Suggestion" on the box! ARGGHHHHHH!!!
----
Before I start and probably get sued for defamation of character by Mr Dutton I would like to point out that this event occurred nearly three years ago and since then he has moved to Channel 4 news his forecasting has improved somewhat!
Picture the scene, I am sat 'nomming' on my corn flakes while watching BBC Breakfast one Saturday morning when Liam Dutton comes on. He is all jovial and brightens up my day with his optimistic forecast for the day where he shows Scarborough with glorious weather. I thinks to myself 'hurrah, shorts and polo shirt is the order of the day'.
I go to work and load up for my delivery and as soon as I'm dropped off at the first house with my pushbike and bag, the heavens opened. I don't mean rain, I mean a monsoon of biblical proportions. Not only that, but it lasted the whole four hours I was out delivering. To use the words 'drowned rat' would be the biggest understatement ever. I was damp in places I didn't think I could ever get damp!
When I got home my family gave me the usual amount of sympathy that I usually get (this includes the statutory rolling on the floor laughing and pointing in amusement).
I was not on this Twittery thing at the time but Steve was and he told me that he had found Liam Dutton on there. So through him I sent a tweet asking him to apologise to all postmen/women in the YO11 district of Scarborough for getting the weather wrong.
Liam, bless his heart, actually replied to Steve's tweet but it was not a response I was expecting. He simply replied "I have checked my weather stations in the YO11 area and none of them detected any rain". I was gobsmacked. The bloke even got the weather wrong AFTER it had happened.
From that moment on myself and Mr Dutton became sworn enemies (even though Liam had never ever heard of me - I'm sure his ears were burning).
However, as mentioned earlier, watching Channel 4 news a couple of months ago he got the weather spot on - is this a conspiracy forming that the BBC are feeding us misinformation? or is it just that he has actually learned his craft properly now??
Monday this week Carol Kirkwood on BBC Breakfast told us that at 2pm there would be a downpour in the Scarborough area and I kid you not, my phone beeped the arrived of 2pm and the heavens opened on the dot! I was drenched, but I was pleased to have been forewarned about it (even though I didn't have any weatherproof gear on - I suspect that was an echo from that time when Liam Dutton misinformed me about the weather ... Did I ever mention that?
That ends my grumble tonight. I'm going off now to get some anger management and find something else to moan about!
No comments:
Post a Comment