Dave Landray
2/2/60 - 31/7/12
It is the eve of the passing of my brother Dave. A time of reflection.
I am not going to be maudlin or depressing in this post. Alas, I wish this to be a celebration of his life. I apologise in advance if I cause offense by this blog but I feel it is always best to reflect the fun times and not the bad!
Dave, like many people who revolve(d) in my circle has been the butt of some of my wind-ups caused by a particularly pesky Dark Passenger* that I carry around with me. I just can't help myself sometimes - this is just who I am. Most times it is funny, it has been known to be occassionally cruel and for that I apologise profusely that I have done this to. I keep chipping away at a book I'm writing about my Dark Passenger* and that one day Karma is going to well and truly kick my arse!
Anyway, I shall begin:
One Sunday night myself and my lovely wife were fighting going to bed as that would mean the end of the weekend. I was having a responsibly enjoyed glass of wine while watching Dexter* (* the asterix I should point out is a bit of a pun as the two are connected - Thank you Jeff Lindsay for that).
All of a sudden from out of nowhere my phone boings to let me know of an incoming SMS. I giggle excitedly as it means that someone out there really likes me. I check the phone and it is our Dave. He is at a pub quiz and needs to know the real name of Tiger Woods. Quick as a flash I reply with "Ramsay Tupper".
I was chortling away to myself as he replied "Thank you. I'm going to win this". In retrospect I should have told him it was Eldrick Tont Woods, but that pesky Dark Passenger* had made an appearance.
I left it for a couple of minutes then the angel on my left shoulder sent a shudder of panic down my spine that maybe I should come clean before he makes a fool out of himself. I decided then to text him back saying "Don't give that answer! Read it out loud to yourself first!". To which after ten minutes that felt like three weeks with the sweat like frost on my brow I get a reply simply saying "TWAT!".
I was told at a later date that when he read the answer out (coincidently at exactly the same time I had sent him the warning text) the whole pub collapsed with laughter. I did explain in my follow up text that I didn't condone the use of mobile phones at pub quizzes as I had been wrongly accused of cheating at a quiz one night for knowing 20 Beatles tracks - pffft, the quiz master obviously didn't know that I am the music god!
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Our Dave's birthday was 2nd February which to those who are into world calendars will know is Groundhog Day. For his birthday treat he called Yorkshire Coast Radio (our local 'independent' station) and told Barry Robinson (erm, Legend ... much like Danny Wilde!) to play "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher to celebrate the big day. Sadly, Barry didn't play this song, he played "Lazy Sunday Afternoons" by The Faces ... This is funny on two levels, firstly our Dave was never lucky, but secondly it was announced "It's Groundhog Day and this goes out to Dave who's celebrating his birthday" to which the song started with the line "Wouldn't it be nice to get on with mi neighbours". He told me that not only did his heart sink because he didn't play the song he requested, but the first line of the song made it sound like he hated everyone who lived around him. He spent the next two days behind his front curtains occassionally checking to see if they were outside with a burning cross or a big bag of dog shit and a match!
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I really looked up to Dave, he was a fantastic brother, whom I miss on a daily basis and wish that for just one day he could come back and I could give him a hug and talk the codshit that we used to spout to each other.
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Let us get it right, he was not always the victim in our get togethers! Not only was his flatulence legendary - he could physically hover above his seat when we were gathered around playing Trivial Pursuit on a night. In fact, one night I timed a 32 second fart that towards the end sounded dangerous - even the look on Dave's face showed that even he wasn't particularly happy with the way this one was going. Thankfully no mud was drawn!
Upon announcing to my other brother Tony that myself and Debbie were expecting a baby, Tony embraced this news as a loving family member should - he even offered me a glass of wine at 9:30 in the morning - which was a bit early, even for me! HOWEVER, when I went to see Dave and tell him our fabulous news he just looked at me with glazed over, wide eyes and snorted saying "Ha! Financial Deprivation starts here bro!" I suppose I expected nothing less!
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In the last couple of years of his life Dave found peace with religion. I am not a religious person and for that I may or may not go to hell! But I never knock people's belief system. I envy them to be honest, they have a light at the end of the tunnel - I just have an unbiased view that something may or may not happen when I my light is extinguished from this world!
The people from the church were with him all the way at the end. Pastor Paul from the church gave a fantastic service at the funeral. It was quite surreal as his sermon was done on an iPad - there was no pulpit or musty smelling books in sight!
The best part of the funeral was that it was a bright colour funeral. The family had decided that this was a celebration of life not a mourning. I had to dust down my comedy character ties from within the dark and dim closet (they were just left of Mr Tumnus's house!).
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When someone from your own family dies it is heartbreaking. When you lose a sibling that is harder as it makes you realise that you aren't immortal. If anything has come from the passing of our Dave is to live life to the best of your abilities and finance. I have thrown myself into my family, friends, work, and my fundraising. I can rest my head on a night and know that I'm on the right side of the line even though I have my Dark Passenger* to contend with!
I miss you with all my heart Dave and tomorrow I shall be belting out to some Steeleye Span with the amp set to 11! Love ya bro xx
****As a comical postscript to this, as I was proof reading this, "Spirit in the Sky" by Dr and the Medics came on! This was played at his wake - which I thought was disrespectful until I found out it was a CD from his 'favourites' folder on his iTunes collection - Fantastic ... Love it Dave****
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