So, there is a new kid on the block. The mighty "P" appearing in the corner of our screens everytime a TV show starts. The Product Placement "warning".
This to me has become my new nemesis. No longer can I watch a programme that the little P in the corner appears in without not being able to follow the storyline. All I do is look for the products placed within!
I spent the whole hour of 'Deal or No Deal' hunting down the product that had been placed. We mused as to whether it was a holiday that was being dangled infront of the contestant by a certain online holiday company. Alas, we were horribly wrong. It turned out to be a logo on the side of the cup they were drinking from with a logo from a famous tea company! Argh! It's officially like playing "Where's Wally" (or "Where's Waldo" if you are from the US!).
Sadly this is now my life. If you ask me what has happened in the first seven seasons of Seinfeld, I cannot tell you a jot ... having said that, there is so much going on in a Seinfeld episode that you struggle to keep up! I'm still digesting that Kramer's first name is Cosmo! (A staggering fact is that we actually heard someone calling their child over at Flamingo Land a few weeks ago and he too was called Cosmo!).
However, on the subject of Seinfeld, I can tell you that every time I watch it I really want to dust off my copy of Child's Play on VHS while simultaneously playing the board game Taboo whilst blogging on my Apple Duo Dock II.
The mere sight of a bookshelf in the background sends me into an absolute secret hoarders tailspin. I just want to see if this person on the screen shares the same taste in movies, books, games and art as I. It is reassuring that someone as big and famous as Jerry Seinfeld has the same taste in movies as me. He plays the same board games as me. Hey, maybe I should invite him and Cosmo over to our house one night for a game and movie night. We can share some carefully placed products that are on our shelves and laugh about what that crazy George Costanza is getting himself into next.
But wait a gosh darn minute ... Seinfeld ended in 1998. Does that mean that we may have chosen different paths? Does he now watch Transformer movies while I delve into the lesser French language movies of Luc Besson? Does he now play Twister while I'm a big Quelf fan? All these questions! It's just all too stressing. Have I slipped off the path of righteousness or has he? I just don't know!
What do I have to do to keep my inner product placement junkie sated? I cannot lower myself to watch Coronation Street or Deal or No Deal any more. None of the programmes I watch nowadays have the little "P" in the corner. Maybe I'm just going to watch re-runs of 90s programmes when things were simple then. No need for the the big brother "P" staring at me from the corner!
I am now addicted to the news channels. Outside broadcasts give me a little hit. You can see a journalist stood on a high street in front of shops. I love to see how the 'other half' live. In Scarborough we have a generic high street, you have to go off the radar to see the unique local shops (I'm a big shop local person by the way - vive la revolutione!). But it nice to see that Chipping Norton has a Pret-A-Manger and we don't.
In an ideal world with this magical "57 channels and (a) nothing on" we should have a dedicated Bookshelf channel that shows celebrities bookshelves and DVD collections. That would bring me warmth, more warmth than the magical Fire channel that the crazy Dutch brought us in the 90s (that was probably sponsored by "Swan Vesta").
Product placement is going to be either the cause of ultimate blindness staring too closely at screens looking for "Wally" or it is going to be my untimely death caused by looking for the new stripey clothed guy! May the goths save us all!
