Continuing from yesterdays ramblings

So, as I said yesterday, we went a bargain hunting in York.  I was amazed at the children's toy section at the rubbish they try to punt off to us unsuspecting parents.  It seems that there is some suit in a factory pawing over the piles of unsellable junk on pallets pondering on how best to market it and ship it out to the laps of kids world wide.  At the start of the aisle you are subjected to the well known stuff ... Moshi Monsters, Spongebob and Hello Kitty.  But then as you go down the aisle you start to find yourself in a mire of slightly dubious merchandise.  I noticed that there was a lot of Amazing Spiderman toys, most were unrelated to the movie or character.  There was (see picture above) an electronic keyboard with The Amazing Spiderman on it.  Now I struggled to get my head around why Spiderman would indeed want a 25 key, 5 tone keyboard with his name on it.  Could it be that his alter-ego is actually Andy McCluskey from OMD or Vince Clarke from Erasure/Depeche Mode/Yazoo?  Or is this as I suspected just an opportunity to empty warehouses and fill our litterbins with unwanted lazy branded crap?
Worse still was the "Sensational Spiderman" stuff.  That's even lazier than actually trying to use an established brand.  It's like the junk shops selling Ondrex toilet paper (ooh, we shall change just one letter and it will be enough to fool the peasants into buying this low quality knock off).
Therefore, I feel that opportunites have been missed by the marketing staff of Garbage Inc. and am giving to the world the first look at the new improved line of children's toys.  Today I offer up "The King's Speech" Electronic Keyboard.  It is backed by a globally successful movie that won Oscars and BAFTAs.  It is based on fact, thus it can be classed as educational.  However, I must warn you not to use the notes F or F# unless you want fragile ears to be forever ringing with the swearier parts of the movie.
We will see how this marketing campaign works.  I'm thinking of following it up with a range of Scary Movie V crayons and maybe Olsen Twins retainer gum shields.  The possibilities are endless.